Monday, October 25, 2010

Through my Grandmothers Eyes

Last week was a very busy week with business for which I’m ever so grateful. By the end of the week things took a different turn, I received a call from my mom telling me my 90-year-old grandma had to be rushed to the hospital.

So many thoughts rushed through my head and straight to my heart as I rushed to meet up with them at the Hospital.  All those tending to this tiny women couldn’t believe she was 90 years old she only appears to be 65, I only hope to look as good as my grandma.

So these past few days have been exhausting physically and emotionally as we waited for test results and treatment plans.  While we waited all I could do was hold her hand, you see she doesn’t talk much anymore nor does she remember I’m her granddaughter.  I wanted so much to hear her call my name, to say Maggie one more time.  I went back in time remembering the hours spent as she taught me how to prepare and lay fabric the correct way for cutting.  She taught me how to make my first dress; she and I designed and stitched my wedding dress.  She taught me how to cook great Puerto Rican food that makes your mouth water when you walk into the house.

I wanted so much to have that time back with her.   I realized how much she taught me, where my passion for sewing and creating with fabrics came from.  Where all that joy from within comes from when I find myself in front of the sewing machine when I’m not at the easel with a canvas painting.  I spent countless hours with grandma watching her sew and create custom gowns out of paper patterns she made herself.  She designed and made my sweet sixteen dress and all the girls’ dresses for my traditional Spanish sweet sixteen party.

Still holding her hand to keep her calm and feeling safe in a strange environment that was not home, she looks at me with such warm and gentle eyes, she starred at me for the longest time, and out of the blue she leaned towards me and gave me a kiss on the cheek.  I have not felt a kiss from my grandmother in over two years.  I felt so much pain in my heart and yet so much joy to know that somewhere inside she knew I was her grand daughter, her Maggie and that gave me comfort.   It gave me a renewed spirit to continue my passion for creating for doing what I love to sew and to paint.    My grandma is home now after a three day stay at the hospital, we are all happy that she is still with us and for however long we still have her I will continue to look into her eyes and search for inspiration and fond memories of our times together spending hours shopping for fabrics and sewing together and cooking our wonderful Puerto Rican family dinners.  I love you Abuelita with all of my heart you filled my youth with so much love, you taught me much more than sewing and cooking.  Every child should know the love of a grandmother like I experienced with you, how honored I'am to call you Grandma (Abuelita).   This is a picture of my grandma, abuelita on the morning of my sweet sixteen.  What a beautiful and fun day it was.

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